The Nonsense of Life

boat-962791_640There are so many motifs that one can use to describe or explain their angst, anxiety, sin, etc.

Some point to pride.

Others to an inordinate desire to control anything else in life save our ‘response’ in any given situation.

For me, it is my desire for things and people and experiences to make sense; for life to make sense. To make sense to me

Of course, this is all said with a slight smile, as I know that most given answers in single words or phrases can be reduced theologically and/or philosophically to something else (typically ‘pride’). Certainly, my desire that life and all encompassed in it ‘make sense’ could quite easily be reduced to pride.

But sometimes it is helpful (for lack of a better word at the moment) to focus on something else—a different angle, if you will. This desire that life and all things in it ‘make sense’ has plagued me my entire life. It interrupts my movements in life professionally and personally. It has given me anxiety and contributed to depression.

Somehow, someday I need to learn to purge myself of this demand and expectation; to accept the fact that life and the people around me simply aren’t always going to make sense—maybe even most of the time. And seek my peace and ‘rationality’, rather, in the Thing and those things that I know I am made for and called to find my true happiness in.

Be well. +++

J.


Justin battles this often-lonely fight against both irrationality and the desire that life be rational from small wooden structure adjacent to a field housing grass and intimidating electrical transmission towers, just outside of Portland, OR. He can be found on Facebook and Instagram or reached directly by email at justinaugustinelee (at) gmail (dot) com. Feel free to say hello or send hate mail. Veritas odit moras+

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